Imagine in order to hit a deadline for a project, you delegate a task to your co-worker Tim. The deadline comes and Tim fails to come through. You can look at his failure in two different ways. You can blame, cuss him out, and hold resentment towards Tim. Or you can view it as an opportunity to reflect on what you could have done better.
Could you have been more clear on your expectations? No? Even if the task was communicated as clear as day, what could you have one better? Could you have been more caring and sympathetic to what’s going on in his life? Maybe if you simply asked something about his personal life, he’d feel a deeper human connection with you and not want to disappoint you. Maybe only with that subtle shift in approach would he have gotten the work done no matter what he was going through.
The point is that even though it’s easy to blame Tim for the failure of the project, it is much better for you to look at the situation as an opportunity for reflection and growth. If not, no learning AT ALL happens. Most people would rather save mental energy and blame others for all failures. But this is ignorance, and when done over and over, it turns into being an asshole nobody wants to work with and who’s in the same position he was 10 years ago. Growth as a person is stunted when one thinks that they know best.